Melantrys’ Page

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After all those beautiful pictures it’s time for a little shocker again.

Just a little one; I promise.

During the recent storm one of the roof panels of our greenhouse flew away.
After having picked it up from the lawn and having sunk into the mud with a normal ladder, I went behind the house to fetch a stouter ladder. It doesn’t sink as easily, yet it is rather heavy and was standing behind a lot of other stuff that hadn’t been needed during winter.

While I was still struggling to get one end free of the tomato stakes, the other end tipped over a top-heavy bucket containing several heavy pieces of iron.
Of course this hit me full in the left calf.

I do not recommend standing on tiptoe on a ladder in a storm, half lying on a slanting roof that would not support your weight if you really leaned on it, with a leg that is screaming at you, while you’re wielding some plyers in a frantic attempt to wrestle those weird (and seemingly spring-loaded) clamps that hold the panels in place under the framework again.

The pics I took several days later are rather low quality, the first one being rather blurry and the second way too dark, but I think they’re giving a “nice” impression of the bruise/scratch I got.
Enjoy.

Actually, that would make a cool tattoo design….

And it was even more colourful than any Easter egg.

So…

Happy Easter, everyone!!

.

Edit:

Ok, I’ll be generous and pander to someone’s delusions.
If you click on the image you’ll get a picture of the shark without my bruise.
Both images are - obviously - the property of Frans.

© Frans 2010

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The title says it all - a week after I shot the pictures in the post before the last one I took my poor camera out into the cold again for an encore.

Also, there’ll be a couple more photo posts up shortly - a few being more or less winter related as well.

But back to this one.
For these parts of Germany we had a rather long and harsh winter, especially in terms of the amount of snow that came down. We’re really not used to that kind of thing anymore around here.

Still, it made for the odd freaky picture.

Behold a cold climate relative of the Blob devouring our neighbours’ driveway lamp!!!

View from the side

As seen from the front

Also, bear witness to the amount of snow that poor me had to shovel off the driveway!
It had to go somewhere, so I heaped it up in the more or less empty spots between the larger shrubbery of our front garden.

Way too much snow…

… and running out of depot space.

You should have seen our poor Christmas rose when that snow was finally gone. It did look a wee bit squashed, the poor thing.

In other blog related news, I managed to finish the update to my smiley page.
And, no, Caesar, I am not open for further suggestions; it took me long enough to add these, and this poor old woman needs a rest now. Plus, I don’t even like popcorn.

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I’ve been doing some bi-lingual googling tonight, and now I am wondering…

Why is the general populace so badly informed on first aid measures concerning seizures?

The first thing anyone seems to know is that you have to put something into the patient’s mouth to prevent him/her biting off his/her tongue.
A colleague even named a piece of wood the recommended item.
Well, I hope in contrast a soft woven belt is harmless enough….

Turns out you’re not supposed to put anything into the patient’s mouth cos the risk of getting bitten or damaging the patient’s teeth is higher than the risk of any damage caused by the patient’s actually biting his/her tongue or cheek being truly serious.

Another oldie but goodie seems to be the advice to reach into the patient’s mouth and pull the tongue to the front, so that the patient cannot swollow it.
Apparently only recently this helpful “fact” got aired on Turkish tv for Germany.

One: The whole swallowing one’s tongue thing is a complete myth.
Two: Yeah, pull the tongue to the front, so that the patient surely cannot fail to bite on it.
Three: Hey, who needs fingers anyway; they’re way overrated.

It took me five seconds to google a comprehensive list of first aid measures, including what not to do.
Then why is the public knowledge (at least apparently in Germany and Turkey) on the level of the last century or so?

Witnessing a seizure is a scary, scary experience.
I’d be helpful if one at least had a real clue of what (not) to do.

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Don’t you all think it has been too long since the last anecdote from work? Yeah, me too.

Have two.

Last week this tall Syrian dude came into the store with a young man I didn’t know.
M. and my Turkish colleague A. were working in the isle right behind the entrance.
Shortly after the two men had entered I heard M. exclaim that Egypt was a place she definitely had to go to on holiday one day. Later questions posed to A. confirmed my assumption that this was due to the men mentioning that the new dude was from Egypt.

A while later M. came over and informed me that there were two “fellow-countrymen” of A.’s in the store, and that one was having two vouchers from the social welfare office, and asked me technical questions about how I was going to ring that up.
She also told me that the new dude spoke hardly any German at all and that he sure was glad for A. being there and merrily chatting to him and the other dude.

“Urrrr, M., are you sure the two guys aren’t talking Arabic amongst themselves?”
“Well, how would I know the difference?!”

Well… How shall I put it…? Logical thinking?

For one thing, our colleague is Turkish. That the one regular customer is Syrian is not common knowledge, granted, but the new guy did say he was from Egypt.
Which language do the people speak there….?
Furthermore, the later questioning of A. revealed that apart from an “As-salaam alaykum” / “Alaykum salaam” (or - I suspect - “As-salaam alaykum” (Arabic) / “Alayküm salaam” (Turkified pronunciation)) at the beginning the rest of the merry chat was conducted in German (between A. and the Syrian guy) and a bit of Arabic (between the Syrian and the Egyptian guy) of course.

Still, I can’t help but imagine them babbling incomprehensible stuff in Arabic and Turkish respectively at each other…

.

Yesterday we could give away ham that was a good week past its sell-by date.

Anyway, as I was about to throw the “for free due to sell by date” sign into the box and place it in front of the noses of our customers, M. exclaimed:
“Wait! A. and me want some too!”
“A. does not want any ham.”
“Of course he’ll want some”
*picks up ham*
“Ingredients: pork….”
*confused look*
“Well, A. does eat pork.”
“No, A. certainly does not eat pork.”
“What does he eat then?!”
“Beef, sheep, fowl…”
(*customer who wandered in on conversation quietly smirks*)

*wonders if M. will decline all food except salad at the next bbq A. throws for all colleagues*

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… to all my Muslim friends!

(Please do keep in mind though that dehydration can be a problem during the summer months and don’t ruin your health, should the weather seriously not agree with the fasting.

I know I sure would have needed a doctor today had I not been able to drink, and I am not even fasting…)

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Oooooooh, blueberries!!!!
Yum, yum, yum!

Eh! Whazzat?
What’s all this green webby stuff doing in front of the berries?
I want berries!
There must be a way through this to the berries…

*stagger*
Drat, now my foot got caught in this weird green webby stuff.

*twist, flap*
Aargh, my wing, my wing!!!

*twist, flap, hop*
My other foot, oh, my god, oh, my gooooooood!!!!

*flap, flap, hop, twirl, kick dust*

Um.

Help?

Oh, oh, oh, shiiiiit, a huge monster!!
*duck*

Phew, it’s going away again.
Oh, no, there it comes again!!
Heeeelp.
*duck, crawl, pathetically flap*

No, no, don’t…. Aargh, it got me, it got me, help!!!

*screech, flap, struggle*

What’s that?
Oh, no, this is cold and looks dangerous.
And it’s making weird snipping sounds.
Heeeeelp!!

*screech, struggle, bite monster*

It’s letting me go, it’s letting me…. no, it just took me in its other paw.

*peck, screech*

(various repeats of *screech*, *struggle*, *peck* and *bite* while the monster shuffles it from paw to paw and the dangerous looking cold thing keeps making terrifying snipping noises)

*bites into thickest looking claw*

Noooo, what now, the monster is standing up! It’s moving, it’s moving!

It’s bending down again.

What…. it let go of me, it let go of me!!!!

*lets go of the monster’s thumb and flies away, loudly screaming defiance at the monster*

*sits down in tree and unruffles feathers*

*ponders*

Oh, cool, all that icky green webby stuff is gone.
Lucky me that this weird stuff fell off again.

.

Author’s note: lucky you I found you before the neighbours’ cat did…

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Welcome, dear readers, to another episode of “Trying to Mutilate Yourself in Six Easy Steps” with Melantrys.

Step 1: Pick a tree that sneakily started to grow on its own behind the lilac. Better yet, pick two.

Step 2: Fetch a spade and start to dig.

Step 3: Dig closer to the trunk by hacking at tree roots with the spade.

Step 4: Forget you are working close to a fence.

Step 5: Hit fence post with a finger in mid-hack. For good measure, don’t just hit the post, but scrape along it as well.

Step 6: Sink to knees while pressing your hand to your chest.

Is this my finger joint?

Actually, I don’t want this to be my finger, ‘k?

Actually, the whole of the photo is way more horrid than the cutout I posted above (Update 2009/07/10)

It’s a shame, really, that the colour isn’t coming out so well in the photos. In real life the joint is a truly interesting shade of blue.

Update (2009/07/04):

Went to my regular doc yesterday, and he was happy I’d already had x-rays done to rule out a break cos from the looks of my finger he’d have suspected one.

Here’s a pic of my finger today. Add a bit of blue in your mind; the cam’s still eating some of the colour.

I think it’s fascinating how the blood is wandering off into various directions (lower finger joint: purple; upper segment of finger and knuckle: blue to purple to green)….:

Look at the pretty colours!!!

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So, is this writer’s block, or plain laziness?
I don’t know, but I’ll try to ramble in a vaguely interesting way for a while.

*sips some Grüne Witwe*

*draws a blank*

Maybe it really is writer’s block then.

Anyway.

My Lilium Erotica has survived the relatively tough winter and shily put forth its first flower today.
The Lilium Perversum looks like it might soon follow. Well, all I can hope for then is that the flowers will distract from the otherwise really sad look of the poor thing.

A good week ago, when I went to water the lilies I discovered that the leaves of the red one were thoroughly riddled with holes.
There were a lot of bright red bugs sitting close to the stem, and they were kind of looking guilty, so I picked them out of the lily, threw them onto a stone and stepped on them. *squish* The few eggs that I found I rubbed between my fingers. *mash*
And before you call me evil, firstly, they were responsible for the bedraggled look of my lily, and secondly, despite their nice, friendly colour and all, those bugs gave me the creeps. I had to seriously force myself to reach out and grab each one of them. The German wiki has the best photo; the English one might be more comprehensible to most of you though.

What else….?

Have been working at work, and here at home weeding, weeding, weeding…. Why do weeds grow so much better and faster than pretty, pretty flowers and veggies, eh?!

Got a variety of tomato plants inside the greenhouse and out, also peppers sweet and hot, chilis, eggplants, freaky decorative eggplants, courgettes in light green, yellow and “white” (Thank you “Uncle Bob” Bobby Seeds!), and round ones.

Furthermore we ordered some stuff from a mailorder gardening shop: thornless brambles, a blueberry shrub, figs, interesting strawberries, and an ‘erb with annoying habits.

When the plants arrived in early spring, I planted them all out into the garden. The spring starflower, which they are selling here as Andean garlic, was already merrily in bloom. As the flowers are edible too, they made for nice deco on the odd salad.
Then the first one seemed to dry off and die. Shortly afterwards, the second did the same. The third and last held on a little longer and appears to be lying in its death throes now.
But.
Little green shoots are suddenly growing out of two empty patches in my herb bed and out of the middle of the “dying” third plant.
From what I just read when I went picture-hunting, that’s absolutely normal behaviour for that plant…. ‘K.

And a last garden thing…
For my birthday I got a flowerpot from the neighbours. Guess it was on discount, as it looked rather Easterly, with a huge fake white egg and a bow made out of greenery stuck into the middle of it…
Anyway, the main inhabitant of the pot was a hydrangea with white flowers. A, not to put too fine a point on it, shrub. Growing rather nicely out of the 20 by 20cm pot it came in.
Once the weather was stable enough for me to dare allow it out into the wilderness, I got a surprise. Most of the room inside the pot was taken up by plastic foil. The actual inner pot size was about 8cm.
The kind of pot I put my veggie seedlings in.
So.
What kind of plant hating gardener puts a shrub into such a small pot?
I don’t have to mention that it contained more roots than soil, do I?

Oh my, now this is almost a pure garden post.
You poor readers.

Let me quickly add another topic:
Music.
These days I am listening to a lot of Malicorne, while occasionally cussing the fact that they don’t exist anymore.
If someone invents a time machine, please let me know, I’d really have liked to see those guys live.
*sighs*

Here’s some “videos”. Enjoy the songs (hopefully)!

A capella:
Le Prince d’Orange

Quand je menai mes chevaux boire

Branle/La Peronelle

La fiancée du timbalier

And for those with more than 10 minutes to spare:
La fille aux chansons (Marion s’y promène)

Now it’s almost 1am, I am feeling tired and headachy and almost sure that the title of this post is more amusing than the post itself.

Good night, everyone!

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A comment reminded me of something long overdue:
pics of the greenhouse being in use.

The outside seen from various angles:

The inside:

The terrace:

A so-called “balcony tomato” for cultivation in a pot…

… among the first we bought, and thus already starting on tomato production.

Although some of the tomatoes outside the greenhouse aren’t far behind:

tomato blooms

Hm, beans…

And back inside some of the seeds have been busy:

Don’t always believe “best by” dates. These Okra seeds were only supposed to keep till December ‘07 - and the package had already been opened!

The following pics are of the new ones I came across by accident in a home-improvement market. It was the only package they had (left?), and I immediately grabbed it.
The okras on the package look darker and more shiny than I know them, so let’s see what the plants will produce - if the filthy German weather doesn’t kill them dispite the greenhouse, that is.

And why are they “spineless” anyway??? Got no backbone, the fucking cowards, eh?!

+++ out of cheese error +++

+++ melon +++ melon +++ melon +++

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As per Mafdet’s request:

my finger this evening

Can’t seem to be able to shoot less blurry pics one handed and without a tripod. But the scar and the damage to the fingernail that has been growing out of its hiding place are visible, so there…