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Melantrys’ Page » freaking morons

Archive for the ‘freaking morons’ Category

Important announcement

Sunday, November 22nd, 2009

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As it seems, I have been mistaken all those years about my political orientation.
Now that I have been informed of this error in (self) judgement, I am afraid I will have to stop talking to all of my Iraqi friends.

Sorry, guys, was a nice time with you.

Oh, in case you’re wondering what this is all about

Oh, and you Dutchies can piss off too.

And the Turks.

And that Libyan dude.




P.S.: Actually I have to thank Joan from Glastonbury for her quick temper.

I was wondering how she had come to my blog and checked the referrals on Site Meter. Apparently she had been googling for “hijab”, come across my crossed-out hijab pic from that ear pain post, seen the post title “Of Turks, Arabs, Muslims and ham” and decided to grace me with her opinion without reading another word.

So far, so insulting.


For some reason that also made me google “hijab”.
And my pic didn’t only come up for my blog but also for another one.
Now, that one is full of anti-Obama stuff (including new “proof” for something being wrong with “the first Muslim US president”’s birth certificate after all) and anti-Muslim filth.

Well, at least the author knows copyright laws (if not much else), apologized and immediately removed the photo after receiving my email.

I can’t flag him cos Google in its wisdom only allows members to do that, but after reading what they’d do if they decided the flag was deserved, it doesn’t really matter either way.
They’d merely “unlist” him, and maybe include a warning message for people accessing the blog, but that’d be that.


And a final disgusted “Yikes!!” at having seen my own self staring at me from a racist page.

Save the cows!!!!!

Wednesday, November 14th, 2007

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Today it happened again.
A customer asked if we had cow mulch.

I say the time has come to stop this barbaric shredding of cows!
What sane person can pour bits and pieces of cows onto his or her flowerbed and feel nothing wrong with it?! (Not to mention the blood seeping into the ground water….)

Run, cows, ruuuuuun!!!!!


… maybe they meant bark mulch?


Let me give you a quick German lesson:

Mulch - - - mulch

Rind - - - cow
Rinder - - - cows
Rindermulch - cow mulch

Rinde - - - bark
Rinden - - - barks
Rindenmulch - bark mulch

Dear customers, the only cow product you can buy for your garden is cow crap dung (Rinderdung).
Ah, you think Rindermulch is bark mulch? Sorry, no. Please go back to school and learn the basics of your mother tongue. While you’re there maybe someone’ll teach you the difference between going to and after people as well…

*sighs mournfully*

Bielefeld….. may exist after all, but is definitely in some other dimension

Wednesday, September 12th, 2007

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This weekend my sis and me went to see 28 Weeks Later (more interesting but rather graphic official trailer from FOX; contains zombie-like creatures and blood) at the Cinemaxx in Bielefeld.

There is a school of thought that insists that Bielefeld doesn’t exist, but so far I didn’t care much about that cos we either had gone to the cinema in Bielefeld anyway, or we had been hallucinating a lot of good movies in some non-existent place.

Getting there was already a bit confusing though this time. There was a bypass halfway between Gütersloh and Bielefeld. “What’s so confusing about that?” I hear you ask. Ah. The bypass was announced on some sign a bit before it actually happened, depicting the road ahead as blocked and showing a bypass to the right of it.
Mildly confused we drove past a bypass sign pointing away to the left at the next crossroads. When the road ended we were forced to take the bypass for trucks which also turned off to the left. Er?
Close to Bielefeld the bypass was done with/ended, which they announced by a crossed out bypass sign. Only… for persons not constantly driving to Bielefeld from all four corners of the earth it might have been helpful if the sign had also mentioned that this meant we were on the road again that was blocked due to repairs…. but heading back to Gütersloh again! Fortunately my sis recognized the huge building opposite the petrol station, so we were able to take the correct turn after a detour across that station without confusedly driving back to Gütersloh again or something (you can use the road in that direction, just not in the other one).

So, ok. After the movie it was kinda late and we wanted to drive back home. (Keep in mind that we were still in the middle of the city and nowhere near the bypass outside of the city limits.)
Left the park deck, went through the roundabout, made the right turn……. drove past the next right turn leading onto the highway sort of road leading out of Bielefeld, as it was crossed out on the sign. Road closed, bugger.
We kept on going on the basis that a big road should have signs later on that’d help us find another way out. Not really…. the road was leading to Herford, which was definitely the wrong direction.
Sooooooo I turned the car around. The road to the highway thingy was closed coming from that direction as well. We kept going until a sign told us that that road was also leading to Herford. Er?
At some huge crossroads my sis urged me to take a right turn, as she thought she recognized one of the buildings there and might have a hazy idea of where we were.
And soon enough we were able to follow signs leading to “all directions”.
Next up came a turnoff onto the highway thingy… which was crossed out.
A car with a Gütersloh plate followed it anyway, so I followed him on the basis that if the road was really unpassable he should hopefully know how to get back home, and we could follow him.
Only…. it wasn’t closed.

Drunk with relief we hit the highway thingy, with an old song by the Eagles playing itself in our minds…

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
‘Relax,’ said the night man,
‘We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!’

But we made it, we made it!

Graspop 2006

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

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Wow, it seems people have been missing me, so let me bore you to tears with the story of my weekend! :D

Due to the late decision/opportunity to go to Graspop this year the most sensible way to still obtain a ticket was to ask M. in Arnhem to get one for me.
A long story about free train rides and late arrivals follows, so let’s skip that and just say that this lead to me getting up at fucking 3:00 in the morning on Friday, picking up my ticket in Arnhem before the Dutchies boarded their train and heroically arriving earlyish and reserving a nice spot for our tents and the gazebo on the camping ground in Dessel.

When the others finally arrived I felt like kissing the ground, as after hours of me defending my piece of pasture against the enemy all by myself the neighbours became pushy and asked about putting one of their tents a bit into my reserved space and then merrily - but thankfully slowly - went about setting up two tents. Buuuut the others arrived just in time. :)

For us, Friday was a slow day, meaning we had a lot of time to check out the toilets, food and drink before it was time for the others to “see” Lacuna Coil. Well, there isn’t much to see if you’re sitting on the ground. ;)

Then it was Moonspell time, but what with the distance and lighting I unfortunately cannot provide any pictures. The video clip I made is equally blurry, but I’ll just “watch” “Opium” with closed eyes then, lol.

It was dark; it was cold, but we bravely waited till 1:20 in the morning, passing the time by meeting Kenny, putting Kenny into a straitjacket and J. and R. hallucinating that they were in World of Warcraft, and not the real world. Well, I suppose sitting in the dusty cold does that to you. When the cold freezes your brain, and the dirt starts eating away at your bronchi….

Kenny, er, J.!

And then, the highlight of the evening - for me probably of the weekend: Die Krupps.

Die Krupps…

I had thought that after Lee Altus had left and Engler founded DKay.Com, Die Krupps had become the past, over and done with.
And then they were announced for Graspop! At some point Engler mentioned that it was their 25th anniversary, and the backdrop suggested the same. But…. that was a very ominous backdrop.

… or not Die Krupps?

Why are the Die Krupps rings crossed out? Is this just an anniversary tour, or will we be hearing more of Die Krupps again in the future? I’d appreciate the latter, as I don’t really like DKay.Com. Yeah, sue me, Mr Engler! ;)
A few songs (e.g. “Alive”) sounded a lot more electronical than I remembered them, but still very Die Krupps. That concert was great. And Jürgen Engler was great. He may not have very many moves, but he performs them with grace and he does have stage presence.

Saturday was my busiest day. But first I had a very photogenic guest lounging on my tent:

Then it was time for some Florida noise, i.e….


Check out their equally bad pic of the crowd on their homepage!

It was very, very stifling in that tent, but it was to become worse:

Stone Sour, main stage, out in the blazing sun. Yes, Caesar, that’s when I was whining at you about heat strokes… or rather after their gig.
What can I say? Liked their show, got my brain fried through….

“This song is dedicated to the great American traitor, Mr. George Bush. This song is about real freedom.”

Close to the end of their set Corey saw himself in one of the big screens on the side of the stage, which led to the following little conversation with the audience:

“Do I look like that? I look like shit.
Do I look like shit?”
“Fuck you too.”

As I was well done by then I used the break to trudge back to the camping, where I rested a bit and washed my arms and wet my hair in the tent with the wash basins. That cooled me down a treat and kept me refreshed for… like…. 10 minutes?

Talking about the camping, this sign did confuse me a bit.

No hunting?!

But I had brought my bow and arrows and my gutting knife! Dang!!!

I barely made it back in time to see Alice in Chains (main stage, out in the sun of course…), but I was very disappointed. Not that their new singer was bad, but if the voice of a band dies, they’re in a spot of trouble. The show totally sucked for me; sorry, dude.

My Dying Bride…

… made me forget that right away. Aaaaaah, sweet whiny melancholy… :)

Was too far away from the stage and Soulfly then for any postable pics, but I took a nice picture of a young lady who - like her boyfriend - was trying to avoid inhaling the flying dust that just crept everywhere:

terrorist ;)

Lol, I just saw that I also captured a “nice” belly in a men’s skirt in that pic. Enjoy!

After Soulfly I peeked into the tent Opeth were playing at, but that was too odd for me after that long and hectic day, so I wandered back to the camping.

Things got even odder on the way there. The security people sitting in front of the comfy crew camping area were listening to….. Celine Dion! Mildly traumatized I stumbled on and fell into nightmare-ridden sleep in my tent. I think I was at sea. ;)

Good thing that Sunday was such a slow and relaxing day for me then. ;)

As a Coal Chamber fan I had to go and see Devil Driver of course. What can I say? Dez needs a diet :P ; and I wish he’d still sing and not just scream. Nothing against screaming, but he has such a wonderful singing voice, at least in my opinion, so I miss that of course.
The show was great, and Dez is too nice too be metal, lol.

“There are some little motherfuckers in the pit - 11 or so - so be careful.
Man, I love this shit!”

He didn’t just seem to care for the safety of the little motherfuckers, but also about the safety of all motherfuckers.

Is a circle pit the in thing these days? I have no idea.

Anyway, on the first day some old school band on the main stage (Y&T? I think it was them; who cares…) wanted a circle pit as well. Their only concern seemed to be that people should only form it in the exact moment the band wanted and not at any other time.

Dez wanted one as well, for the duration of a whole song. So what did he do? He told people to open up a huge space in front of the stage (5×5 or 6×6 m, I’m not good at estimating measurements) to have room for the circle pit. Didn’t see anyone get hurt in there, not even the little motherfuckers - who really looked like being 11 or so. :)

As my festival food source had run out of rice and I don’t like his noodles, I sadly trudged back to camping and had some icky Belgian French fries and coffee. While I was sitting there the Flood happened, er, I mean, it rained. Mightily. When things had calmed down a bit I hurried back to the tents, as they had been giving out (thunder) storm warnings all day long. Luckily T., Kenny, er, J. and S. were back as well, so I had some help in taking down the gazebo. For that I was very thankful not so much later when the storm hit while I was whiling away the time reading in my tent (I said Sunday was a slow day for me…). We had another Flood, thunder and lightning and wind enough for my one tent wall to occasionally duck into the tent and say hello to me. Was a tad scary weathering out the weather there….
Little did I know what the day would still bring…

S. put it so accurately: “It’s amazing how the little guy can produce all those vocals.” (Don’t hit me if that wasn’t a 100% true quote; I’m senile.)

Cradle of Filth

Caught the little Brit out on something during “From the cradle to enslave” though. Sometimes it does pay off to try and pay attention to screamed lyrics. At some point he sang “I don’t know the fucking words to this song… *mumble, mumble*” Hilarious.

After that we split up. S., T., Kenny, er J. and me got some drinks and returned to the tents.

We went to sleep, or in some cases tried to.

I don’t know if you are familiar with this odd spreading habit of people at festivals. They take either old tents or are fucking rich farts.
Because on the morning after the festival there always are people who set their tent on fire instead of taking it home again. It must’ve become such a widespread habit that the Graspop people are even mentioning on their website that it is forbidden to burn your tent there.

So. I was just undressing/changing when I heard a mixed group of men discussing in English that they felt like setting a tent on fire right now. The notice on the website was mentioned, and that they had to exactly time this because of the fire brigade patrols. Someone asked if it was illegal, and someone else said “No, of course it’s not!” One of them started wandering around and hollered at a tent that the people inside had to leave it now, no joking, and if they had a lighter, please.
In the end they rather settled for lighting up the downed tent beside mine.

From the inside of my tent it sounded as if they had dragged it up right against mine, which frightened me some. (I had ceased undressing and started to sit listening with wide eyes some time ago…) From the sound of it they were all drunk; and who’d light their tent with one night still ahead anyway?! So when it became obvious that they were seriously going to set it on fire there and now, I crawled half out, but they had dragged it away to the “sensible” distance of maybe 3m off.

The fire brigade was there within one or two minutes and put out what was left of it… Two men had quit the scene the moment the fire truck appeared on the horizon.

I was still spooked, so I read for about an hour or so by the light of my flashlight.

Sometime then people started arriving back from the festival. I didn’t get much of what was said, but one thing I did get: one of the new arrivals was the owner of the tent. He stayed calm and alerted security. I think it was a security guy whom I heard on the phone right behind my tent some time later talking about the young man wanting to involve the police, and that several tents had been burned on the camping area. (He obligingly spoke very slowly and well-modulated which helps a German understand Dutch… or Flemish, if you’re in Belgium. Whatever.)

T. told me in the morning that he heard at some point that someone fell over a tent. So that was the reason it was down, not that people had already been taking it down…

Actually, the poor sod’s belongings had been in as well of course.

Fat chance they’ll catch ‘em (the two leaving were the main driving force…) but a gal can wish. They should be punished for that. Burning other people’s property is not metal, that’s the behaviour of scum. And being drunk is no excuse.

I wish I hadn’t mistaken them for some idiots lighting their own old tent…

But to something more enjoyable. After breaking camp on Monday morning we hauled our belongings into the breakfast tent and had breakfast, coffee, or nothing, depending on taste and mood.

A couple of benches on some guy suddenly raised a sorry breadroll or something, speared with wooden forks, into the air and started singing “Happy birthday”, motioning for people to join in. (Was it really someone’s birthday by the way? Do tell!) I went over when they were done with the singing and set to lighting the “candles”.

Pictures published with permission: :D

P.S.: Especially for you, Davie:

the Dutch - German border at Venlo

Dew + frost = magic

Friday, February 3rd, 2006

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These pictures I took yesterday during my lunch break. I had been sorry in the morning about being in my routine hurry as I’d never have thought it would stay like that all day long. But it did. So there you go. Hope you like the pictures.

Today it snowed and the temps went up to around 0°C, and what with the sun and all this beauty started to disappear under snow and to melt a bit.

Hm, I haven’t been posting much lately, except for the mountain/forest pictures last weekend.

A week ago Johannes Rau, one of the few good politicians, has died. From what you heard on the radio half of the Nordrhein-Westfalen county had had the pleasure of meeting him personally at one time or another, which is something I don’t share. But still I was sad to hear of his death. He didn’t really have time to enjoy his retirement (about a year ago I think), which is a real shame.
I remember - as well as senile me can, that is - him doing this radio show on a youth station once. Every week they had some VIP (mostly musicians) doing that two hour evening show, talking about whatever they liked and playing their favourite music. And one week it was him doing it. I don’t even really recall what he talked about. He did talk politics a bit ( “To make the young people realize how important it is that they participate.”) but not just politics. I only remember that the show was one of the best. Thankfully he didn’t play his fave music (except for some classic I seem to recall with dread) - he was already pretty old back then - but played what his daughter had advised him to play.
Maybe this all doesn’t make much sense but I felt like mentioning it.

I apologize to all my faithful readers for discussing something totally off-topic with Nathan in the comments section of my last post, which I didn’t feel like discussing in his.
I am still a tad miffed about the whole thing, but as of today I am feeling a whole lot better. :)

I am drinking woodruff flavoured wine and…. not listening to any music. Why am I not listening to any music?! *puts on “Two sides” by Clawfinger*

Furthermore I am… very disappointed with the support forum of my favourite Anti Virus Freeware AntiVir. Due to extensive virus warnings (they could have mentioned a tad earlier though that it mainly spread through sex mails; that would have saved me some trouble…) I decided to upgrade my software before today.
Instead of the simple virus info upgrade I got a de- and re-install, as they had a brandnew version out. That version’s virus info was older than my latest update so I tried doing another update, no worries. Thanks to this major upgrade though the servers were not able to handle the massed requests. I couldn’t get a connection for more than 24 hours. Other people were having the same problems, some even over a longer period of time, as I found out when checking out the support forum after a loooong absence.
I read a couple of days worth of posts and comments and noticed one very sad thing. Trolls repeatedly ridiculed the people asking for help, with hardly anyone minding, and some even defending the trolls.
This is the official support forum for the privately used freeware version as well as for the business Premium version. I remember from a year back or so when I read the forum on a more regular basis that there was the occasional AntiVir programmer logging in at night and at times spending hours to solve some helpless n00b’s problems. That was extra. It said nowhere they’d do that. They “hire” moderators, knowledgable forum users, to keep an eye on people and to help with the occuring problems of users. Other, non-mod users with some knowledge used to try and help out when no mod was around, so that sometimes the problem was already dealt with when the mod appeared. Not that everyone was one big happy family back then, but I hardly ever saw registered forum users telling people asking for help that the fault lay with the “chair keyboard interface” - which was among the nicer things they were saying. In a particularly bad thread it took two days for a mod to appear, close it and advise users seeking help to open a new thread.
The mods always used to be overworked (they’re doing this for nothing after all - or possibly a free Premium version? - and all have regular jobs as well) but, well, other people used to help out then. Also in dealing with trolls.
Good manners are going down the drain everywhere, eh?

*ends this post while listening to “Do what I say” by Clawfinger*


Monday, November 14th, 2005

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Sometimes I get this urge to stop cars and ask the drivers if they are insane or just plain stupid.

It is foggy today, very foggy. Doesn’t look as if it will clear at all today. Sight is at 200m maximum.
Still, it’s not dark anymore, so some people think it’s ok to drive without their bloody lights on. Or with their parking lights on. Excuse me…. p-a-r-k-i-n-g lights. So, what is the difference between p-a-r-k-i-n-g and d-r-i-v-i-n-g, folks? Haven’t figured it out yet? Well, hand over your licence, and make it quick!