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Melantrys’ Page » 2008 » July

Archive for July, 2008

Melantrys’ Almanach of Astonishing Flora

Tuesday, July 29th, 2008

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Today will mark the launch of - hopefully - a series of informative posts on… well… flora.
Otherwise known as plants.
Or “that green stuff with the nice colourful blobs”.

Whichever definition you prefer1 I am going to take you places2 that you’ve probably never been to before: to see some more… unusual… plants.

Almost everyone has heard of lilies, and a lot of people have actually seen lilies.

What most people are completely unaware of though are the few fascinating3 and rare species this particular plant has developed.

.

Lilium Erotica

lilium erotica
lilium erotica

A rather big flowered species of lily that produces a huge amount of blooms in showy colours, smells extremly strongly and produces twice the amount of pollen that most other lily species produce.
Possesses a strong sex drive.

.

Lilium Perversum

lilium perversum
lilium perversum

A subspecies of lilium erotica.
Possesses a strong, uncurbed sex drive.
Actively pollinates everything from unrelated plants like hibiscus over animals to humans.
The pollen is very aggressive and almost impossible to wipe off. In case of contact it is recommended to wash it off with soap and water. Feel free to liberally use disinfectant - you never know where the pollen has been before.

.

  1. you’re even allowed to make up your own [back]
  2. figuratively speaking [back]
  3. if at times somewhat bizarre [back]