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Melantrys’ Page » Blog Archive » You’ve got mail.

You’ve got mail.


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Probably not the appropriate topic to squeeze in between Eid al Adha and Christmas, but I can’t help the timing.

Spam emails - don’t we all know that problem?

On my AOL account I always had dozens. Funnily enough, as soon as they - finally - introduced a bulk folder, hardly any spam arrived at that address anymore at all.
But even with my favourite, yahoo, I have made it a habit to check out my bulk folder, even before it started dumping my Site Meter reports and emails from a stranger with a weird email address ;) into it. Mistakes happen, so it’s better to check before the bulk folder eats an important email.

So, anyway.
What I was trying to say is that I have read my share of spam mail titles. And concerning one obsessively returning subject, I have long since started to say that - as a woman - if I really got all those advertised inches I’d by now have one impressive, er, you know…

Annoying or amusing as they were, those email titles always made sense, as far as I remember.

I just found that I had a new email in my bulk folder and thought, “well, maybe PH is as bored as I am right now,” and went and looked.
Wasn’t PH though. Was “Dr. Clark Corona”, and I was not quite clear what he wished to tell me.
“Do not be shame by reason of of your machine size,” he assured me.
[sarcasm] “Well, if I were a guy, I’d sure do my best not to, thank you; finally a voice of reason out there,” I thought.
But - lo and behold! - inside it says: [/sarcasm]

Your girl does not want to have sex with you for reason of your male organ size.
Don’t miss this perfect possibility to solve the trouble.
All you have to do is just make use of our male instrument enlargement.
You will forget about trouble and your girl will be glad

Oh, don’t worry, I think I have 50 inches or so by now. Dunno how glad that would make my girl if I had one. ;)

*wonders what exactly “our male instrument enlargement” might be*
*guesses that everyone with a normal pain threshold probably doesn’t wish to find out*
:shifty:

10 Responses to “You’ve got mail.”

  1. Mafdet Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    …ouch…

  2. David Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    50 inches?!! Well, I suppose that would be a bit short for a Blue Whale! ;)

  3. ph Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    You actually read those emails ? I’m a guy and I don’t even click on them ………. * delete all* ……………. off topic so you’re bored :P

    salaam

  4. Melantrys Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    @ Mafdet: Quite possibly so…

    @ David: :P

    @ PH: Lol, no, I don’t usually read those emails; this was the first one.
    As I was gonna post about it I felt I should thoroughly investigate, and not just mock the title. I did not click the link provided under the quoted text though. ;)

    Yes, I’m boooooooored.

    And - whew - what a fog outside. Took me over 40 minutes to drive 18km…

    Now I still gotta cook my - ahem - lunch. Bugger.

  5. Mafdet Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    But everybody here WANTED a white Christmas. And this fog sure was white… ;)

  6. Lynnette in Minnesota Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    :rofl:

    *whispers softly* And she wonders why she gets all those lurkers.

    Fog, did someone say fog? I love fog! But if you’re looking for a white Christmas, Minnesota has the real deal. :D It snowed to beat the band yesterday and everything looks white and clean here.

    Anyway, I just stopped by to wish you a Merry Christmas! It’s now the 24th so it can’t be unlucky. :)

  7. 13 Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    *wonders what exactly “our male instrument enlargement” might be*
    *guesses that everyone with a normal pain threshold probably doesn’t wish to find out*

    hmmm.. well, i’m thinking more Inquisition Rack than Austin Powers’ Swedish Love Pump :D but that’s just me :D

  8. 13 Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    or maybe making people stand over a ledge with a swinging brick pendulum tied to the end of… nah..

  9. Melantrys Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    @ Mafdet: yup.

    @ Lynnette: Didn’t get the lurker for that, now, did I…?

    Indeed, indeed, 24th was fine!

    @ 13: I’m sure we do not wish to know…

  10. seo Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    Hello Web Admin, I noticed that your On-Page SEO is is missing a few factors, for one you do not use all three H tags in your post, also I notice that you are not using bold or italics properly in your SEO optimization. On-Page SEO means more now than ever since the new Google update: Panda. No longer are backlinks and simply pinging or sending out a RSS feed the key to getting Google PageRank or Alexa Rankings, You now NEED On-Page SEO. So what is good On-Page SEO?First your keyword must appear in the title.Then it must appear in the URL.You have to optimize your keyword and make sure that it has a nice keyword density of 3-5% in your article with relevant LSI (Latent Semantic Indexing). Then you should spread all H1,H2,H3 tags in your article.Your Keyword should appear in your first paragraph and in the last sentence of the page. You should have relevant usage of Bold and italics of your keyword.There should be one internal link to a page on your blog and you should have one image with an alt tag that has your keyword….wait there’s even more Now what if i told you there was a simple Wordpress plugin that does all the On-Page SEO, and automatically for you? That’s right AUTOMATICALLY, just watch this 4minute video for more information at. Seo Plugin

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