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Melantrys’ Page » Blog Archive » You’ve got mail.

You’ve got mail.


Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

Probably not the appropriate topic to squeeze in between Eid al Adha and Christmas, but I can’t help the timing.

Spam emails - don’t we all know that problem?

On my AOL account I always had dozens. Funnily enough, as soon as they - finally - introduced a bulk folder, hardly any spam arrived at that address anymore at all.
But even with my favourite, yahoo, I have made it a habit to check out my bulk folder, even before it started dumping my Site Meter reports and emails from a stranger with a weird email address ;) into it. Mistakes happen, so it’s better to check before the bulk folder eats an important email.

So, anyway.
What I was trying to say is that I have read my share of spam mail titles. And concerning one obsessively returning subject, I have long since started to say that - as a woman - if I really got all those advertised inches I’d by now have one impressive, er, you know…

Annoying or amusing as they were, those email titles always made sense, as far as I remember.

I just found that I had a new email in my bulk folder and thought, “well, maybe PH is as bored as I am right now,” and went and looked.
Wasn’t PH though. Was “Dr. Clark Corona”, and I was not quite clear what he wished to tell me.
“Do not be shame by reason of of your machine size,” he assured me.
[sarcasm] “Well, if I were a guy, I’d sure do my best not to, thank you; finally a voice of reason out there,” I thought.
But - lo and behold! - inside it says: [/sarcasm]

Your girl does not want to have sex with you for reason of your male organ size.
Don’t miss this perfect possibility to solve the trouble.
All you have to do is just make use of our male instrument enlargement.
You will forget about trouble and your girl will be glad

Oh, don’t worry, I think I have 50 inches or so by now. Dunno how glad that would make my girl if I had one. ;)

*wonders what exactly “our male instrument enlargement” might be*
*guesses that everyone with a normal pain threshold probably doesn’t wish to find out*
:shifty:

85 Responses to “You’ve got mail.”

  1. Mafdet Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    …ouch…

  2. David Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    50 inches?!! Well, I suppose that would be a bit short for a Blue Whale! ;)

  3. ph Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    You actually read those emails ? I’m a guy and I don’t even click on them ………. * delete all* ……………. off topic so you’re bored :P

    salaam

  4. Melantrys Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    @ Mafdet: Quite possibly so…

    @ David: :P

    @ PH: Lol, no, I don’t usually read those emails; this was the first one.
    As I was gonna post about it I felt I should thoroughly investigate, and not just mock the title. I did not click the link provided under the quoted text though. ;)

    Yes, I’m boooooooored.

    And - whew - what a fog outside. Took me over 40 minutes to drive 18km…

    Now I still gotta cook my - ahem - lunch. Bugger.

  5. Mafdet Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    But everybody here WANTED a white Christmas. And this fog sure was white… ;)

  6. Lynnette in Minnesota Says:

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    :rofl:

    *whispers softly* And she wonders why she gets all those lurkers.

    Fog, did someone say fog? I love fog! But if you’re looking for a white Christmas, Minnesota has the real deal. :D It snowed to beat the band yesterday and everything looks white and clean here.

    Anyway, I just stopped by to wish you a Merry Christmas! It’s now the 24th so it can’t be unlucky. :)

  7. 13 Says:

    Deprecated: preg_replace(): The /e modifier is deprecated, use preg_replace_callback instead in /www/htdocs/w0081e40/wp-includes/formatting.php on line 75

    *wonders what exactly “our male instrument enlargement” might be*
    *guesses that everyone with a normal pain threshold probably doesn’t wish to find out*

    hmmm.. well, i’m thinking more Inquisition Rack than Austin Powers’ Swedish Love Pump :D but that’s just me :D

  8. 13 Says:

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    or maybe making people stand over a ledge with a swinging brick pendulum tied to the end of… nah..

  9. Melantrys Says:

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    @ Mafdet: yup.

    @ Lynnette: Didn’t get the lurker for that, now, did I…?

    Indeed, indeed, 24th was fine!

    @ 13: I’m sure we do not wish to know…

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