Bielefeld….. may exist after all, but is definitely in some other dimension
This weekend my sis and me went to see 28 Weeks Later (more interesting but rather graphic official trailer from FOX; contains zombie-like creatures and blood) at the Cinemaxx in Bielefeld.
There is a school of thought that insists that Bielefeld doesn’t exist, but so far I didn’t care much about that cos we either had gone to the cinema in Bielefeld anyway, or we had been hallucinating a lot of good movies in some non-existent place.
Getting there was already a bit confusing though this time. There was a bypass halfway between Gütersloh and Bielefeld. “What’s so confusing about that?” I hear you ask. Ah. The bypass was announced on some sign a bit before it actually happened, depicting the road ahead as blocked and showing a bypass to the right of it.
Mildly confused we drove past a bypass sign pointing away to the left at the next crossroads. When the road ended we were forced to take the bypass for trucks which also turned off to the left. Er?
Close to Bielefeld the bypass was done with/ended, which they announced by a crossed out bypass sign. Only… for persons not constantly driving to Bielefeld from all four corners of the earth it might have been helpful if the sign had also mentioned that this meant we were on the road again that was blocked due to repairs…. but heading back to Gütersloh again! Fortunately my sis recognized the huge building opposite the petrol station, so we were able to take the correct turn after a detour across that station without confusedly driving back to Gütersloh again or something (you can use the road in that direction, just not in the other one).
So, ok. After the movie it was kinda late and we wanted to drive back home. (Keep in mind that we were still in the middle of the city and nowhere near the bypass outside of the city limits.)
Left the park deck, went through the roundabout, made the right turn……. drove past the next right turn leading onto the highway sort of road leading out of Bielefeld, as it was crossed out on the sign. Road closed, bugger.
We kept on going on the basis that a big road should have signs later on that’d help us find another way out. Not really…. the road was leading to Herford, which was definitely the wrong direction.
Sooooooo I turned the car around. The road to the highway thingy was closed coming from that direction as well. We kept going until a sign told us that that road was also leading to Herford. Er?
At some huge crossroads my sis urged me to take a right turn, as she thought she recognized one of the buildings there and might have a hazy idea of where we were.
And soon enough we were able to follow signs leading to “all directions”.
Next up came a turnoff onto the highway thingy… which was crossed out.
A car with a Gütersloh plate followed it anyway, so I followed him on the basis that if the road was really unpassable he should hopefully know how to get back home, and we could follow him.
Only…. it wasn’t closed.
Drunk with relief we hit the highway thingy, with an old song by the Eagles playing itself in our minds…
Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
I had to find the passage back
To the place I was before
‘Relax,’ said the night man,
‘We are programmed to receive.
You can check-out any time you like,
But you can never leave!’
But we made it, we made it!
September 12th, 2007 at 11:35 pm
Speaking of Herford, I don’t really like Herforder.
September 12th, 2007 at 11:36 pm
Guess why we didn’t wanna go to Herford…
Is beer all you can think about…?
Try Pott’s. Closer to (my) home, and indeed very drinkable.
September 13th, 2007 at 12:28 am
Hahaha. You gave a good account of our adventures in the “Twilight Zone”.
And now to something completely different: Für die Horde!
http://geschichtenausazeroth.blogspot.com/
September 13th, 2007 at 12:29 am
By the way: Bielefeld doesn’t exist. Definitely.
September 13th, 2007 at 4:13 am
Never heard of “28 Weeks Later”. Read the IMDb about it. Hmmm, biological disaster movie. Sounds a bit like “Twelve Monkeys”, except its not the whole world.
Interesting actress name: Imogen Poots. In my elementary school a poot usually resulted in a very foul smell in the air. If Imogen Poots had been in my class, I can imagine how hard she would have been razzed about that last name! In my high school, there was a boy named John Seaman. He got into a lot of fights. I guess he got tired of trying to explain that his ancestor was a man of the sea instead of a porn star.
Sounds like getting to and from the theater was quite an adventure! Are you sure you and Mafdet didn’t travel to the Discworld?
September 13th, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Huh! No need to go out of the country to have an adventure.
I’ve done it myself. That is, managed to lose myself on a road I had traveled umpteen times before but had been recently reworked. Not to mention the little fact that I had managed to find my way once already on it. *sigh* When in doubt, stop and ask directions. Which is what I did after about an hour of wandering around.
Nice to see you up and around again, Mel.
September 15th, 2007 at 9:42 pm
CAESAR OF PENTRA: Arminia Bielefeld….
CAESAR OF PENTRA: hehehe
MELANTRYS: *sighs*
MELANTRYS: yeah, that non-existent city has a soccer club!
Anyway, Arminia Bielefeld is doing well this season in the Bundesliga. They are only 1 point behind the first place.
September 16th, 2007 at 5:51 am
Wasup Lil’C?
Bielefeld is in Armenia?
Hey Mel, you took one hell of a road trip!
September 16th, 2007 at 12:22 pm
@ Mafdet: Du bist seltsam…..
Maybe it indeed doesn’t….
@ David: Heard of the first one, “28 Days Later” at least?
Seaman is a totally normal name. Adolescence rots the brain.
Um, no, Discworld wouldn’t have been so spooky.
@ Lynnette: Not so sure we didn’t leave the country….
@ Caesar: So what? It’s soccer….
@ David: Read the first paragraph here.
Guess we did….
@ all:
Help, help, I think my left arm is rotting off! 
September 16th, 2007 at 6:12 pm
Nope, never heard of “28 Days Later” either. To be honest, I don’t much care for “zombie” genre horror films. In general, I don’t like to be horrified!
Hmmm, I had no clue you were talking about a German Football team!
So, the team is named for Herman the Great who stopped the Roman invasion. That reminds me of Herman Munster, the comedic Frankenstein monster. His father-in-law was a vampire mad scientist and his son was a werewolf. It was a fun show, definitely not horrifying. 
September 16th, 2007 at 8:28 pm
Your left arm is rotting off?
Your Left Arm Is Rotting Off??
YOUR LEFT ARM IS ROTTING OFF???
September 16th, 2007 at 8:35 pm
@ David: Tch. Weak stomach?
Hm, can’t say the statue of Hermann looks much like Herman Munster.
Those were the days though. “The Munsters” used to be the first tv series getting shown in the original with subtitles (followed later only by “Monthy Python’s Flying Circus” and “Fawlty Towers”) for reasons of humour. The tv ppl argued that the special humour’d be too hard to get across, so the ppl capable of understanding English should be given the full benefit of it.
Unfortunately later all those series got dubbed - or in the case of “Fawlty Towers” not aired anymore.
What a pity…
@ Mafdet: yes!
Yes!!
YES!!!
September 16th, 2007 at 11:42 pm
Waaah! What should we do about it? Cut it off? Or see a doctor?
September 17th, 2007 at 12:04 am
Why should we cut it off? It’s already rotting off….
Well, actually, it seems to be growing….. Well, no, it grew last night. Now it’s just staying the same. Maybe an alien is hatching inside or something. It’s hot again. Salve, then bed.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:35 am
Maybe you should wait 28 days Mel and see what happens.
September 17th, 2007 at 7:56 am
Now that is one hell of a scary thought….
September 17th, 2007 at 5:57 pm
Gnaaah! I hate it when I get no sensible answers!
Why is your arm doing what it’s doing?
And WHAT exactly is it doing? Growing? In length or in width?
Did you do something to it beforehand (like smashing it with a hammer) or did it start its scary behaviour spontaneously?
September 17th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
To the doctor with you Mel!
September 17th, 2007 at 7:43 pm
@ Mafdet: What? I answered your question, didn’t I?
I guess it’s mutating…
@ David: Nah, as long as it doesn’t grow bigger than the tad it did from work today, I guess I’ll just keep on hoping it’ll just go away again.
September 19th, 2007 at 4:38 am
There can be only ME! Mwahahahahaha!
Oops sorry, I think The Source has infested my brain!
September 19th, 2007 at 2:36 pm
How’s the arm? Has it fallen off yet? :p